A 'Wally' is someone who lacks common sense. A 'Beancounter' is a negative term for an accountant who makes recommendations to the influencers and takes decisions without first understanding the true impact on the less fortunate in our society. The Wally Beancounters in this article work in local government. There are loads of them being paid lots of taxpayer money to screw things up. This is what would happen if a Wally Beancounter organised a package holiday to Spain. The scene is from Carry on Abroad and Wally Beancounter is played by Kenneth Williams. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBDwrZe8wnU.In this article I've focused on the Wally Beancounter processes that contribute to something called 'Relocation Stress Syndrome' or 'Transfer Trauma'. These are conditions Elderly people with either mental and physical conditions experience when they are 'Lifted and Shifted'. Lift and shift is a term used in Adult Social Care departments to describe the least cost way of moving an Elderly person from their current local council provided care package to a cheaper one. The problem with Relocation Stress Syndrome is that it can kill. Yvonne Hossacks is a solicitor who represents clients to prevent Local Authorities from moving their Elderly relative in a way that could kill them.
Yvonne Hossack is not a commercial opportunist. Yvonne Hossack(http://www.hossackssolicitors.com/) is a counter-strike against the appalling way some Local Authorities make decisions that influence the quality of life of those without a voice. I’ve heard phrases used by council staff like ‘God’s waiting lounge’ & ‘The Grim Reapers Terminus for the Terminal’. Staff, accountants and managers who think like this are a protected species by their unions. Working in a role that requires you to care for the Elderly means exactly that. You have to care and you have to want to care. If you can do this then god bless you but if you cannot then a role in either the public sector or 3rd sector influencing the quality of an Elderly person’s life is not for you.
Imagine being an Elderly person with dementia living in residential care. I don’t want you to feel sorry for them or anything. I want you to imagine how you would want to live your life. Most people would want to come and go as they please. Eat what you like when you like. If you live in residential care these basic human rights depend on others helping you living as independently as possible. The level of help you get is dependent on the humanity of the staff and their ability to understand your condition. Imagine living in a world where a reflection of your face on a reflective surface is not a reflection it is a stranger in the room looking at you. In this world every step is a hazard. One slip, your hip is fractured and you are bed ridden. You maybe become frustrated or emotional over something but your mental condition results in behaviour that those around you are not used to or don’t understand. Now enter the world of Wally Beancounter.
(i) Wally Beancounter Rule 1: Cheap Labour = Efficiency
The Beatles said, ’Money can’t you love.’ So as a minimum 15k a year buys you a Direct Carer who will play a functional role.. There are 2 types of people who apply for a role cleaning someone’s arse and dribble.
-The radiant. A person who love to care about other people and help them;
-The drain. A person who cannot get another job.
Radiant’s love people and are deeply humane. Drain’s do the bear minimum to keep their job and resent the fact they’ve ended up doing what they are doing. When they get caught out they run off to the union playing the equality card or accuse those around them of harassment. Drains need loads of micro management. Managers spend more time with the Drains than with the Radiant. The Radiant tend to leave when they have to make up for the Drains.
(ii) Wally Beancounter Rule 2: Staffing Levels
Let’s start with the staffing levels. The Beancounters who live in Wally world see life through a spreadsheet if the numbers make sense then its OK. I have met accountants and efficiency experts from the major consultancy firms who believe there is an optimal staffing level for a staff rota in a residential care home. i.e. ratio of staff to residents They come up with this arbitrary number and say, ‘It meets national minimal care standards.’ When asked for the actual policy document from the Care Quality Commission they can never find it.
(iii) Wally Beancounter Rule 3: Good food for Elderly people is a luxury
The Beancounters who live in Wally world believe offering a varied menu of freshly cooked food to Elderly People in residential care is a luxury. The cost effective option is to bulk purchase pre-cooked frozen food and offer set menu’s. This is what a menu for an Elderly Person would like if a Wally Beancounter was ever put in charge of catering: ( assume pre-cooked and frozen)
Mon :
Soup of the day, sausage, chips and beans or peas followed by spotted dick and custard
Tuesday
Soup of the day, chips, sausage and peas or beans followed by spotted dick and custard
Wednesday
Currently the menu is in reprint because the political correctness police don’t like the words spotted dick. May offend someone and we will get sued. Refer to Tuesday’s menu.
Thursday
Soup of the day, beans, sausage and chips or peas followed by spotted Richard and custard
Friday
Soup of the day, peas, sausage and chips or beans followed by spotted Richard and custard
Saturday
Whatever is in the fridge. Spotted Richard, peas, beans, chips and sausages
Sunday
Roast. Soup of the day, chicken, chips, beans, peas and spotted Richard with custard.
(iv) Wally Beancounter Rule 4: Person Centredness is Too Costly
In Wally Beancounter world the cheapest way of moving an Elderly person from one service to a cheaper one is to do it quickly. That way we can sell the asset and make some money on the land. That is after all the costs to fund our bureaucracy are taken out. If the move hastens death as a result we can’t be blamed its the social workers fault. A social worker working within constraints imposed by a Wally Beancounter is a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. I’m not a social care expert but common sense would look like this:
The Elderly person carers and their relatives need to understand the process. The process should be person centred.
Person centred assessment requires a multi-disciplinary assessment team. Nurses, occupational health, social worker and mental health etc.
The assessment should explore what it is important to the Elderly person in their life.
The Elderly person should be given choice and should be allowed to slowly experience those choices before the move becomes permanent.
The process may take 16+ weeks.
The quicker you do this the less time there is to be person centred. If the choice is made for them on grounds of cost then there is a significant risk of relocation stress syndrome.
(v) Wally Beancounter Rule 5: Don’t Transfer Your Boss's Budget for The Greater Good
Any complex process involving the need of frain human beings that it is iterative over a long period of time is going to cost money. Local Authorities can afford to do this by not wasting millions on management consultants, pointless IT projects and the information management police. Its just that Wally Beancounters lack the confidence and will to transfer money across Directorates. They blame the rules but rules can be bent if you’ve got the courage. In Wally Beancounter world your status is dictated by the size of the budget you report on not what you do with it. Giving your budget away is blasphemy.
(vi) Wally Beancounter Rule 6: Never P**s out of the Tent
Never talk about the Wally Beancounter rulebook unless the person is another Wally Beancounter
(vii) Wally Beancounter Rule 7: The Bamboozle Principle
Make sure you are the only person that understands the reports from the finance system. More importantly, make sure you are the only person who can pull off the reports.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5aN0VmvFn4
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