Shariah UK News @ 10

Islam 4 UK is a group of Islamists who advocate the introduction of Shariah Law in the UK. Islam 4 UK reckon that it in 85 years time Shariah Law will be used to govern the UK. Well I wonder what it will be like……

Religious police had the crap kicked out of them today when they attempted to turn off the supply of Guiness in Northern Ireland and Lager in Scotland. A massive car bomb was defused in Belfast. The Irish Republic Nationalist Royal Unionist Coalition claimed responsibility.

Burger King launched its re-branded outlets across the UK today. Shares in the chain rose sharply in the new chain Burkha King.

The Department for Infidel Assimilation launched a more user friendly range of Islamic dress for males today. Complaints have risen over the lack of a zip allowing the male population to release their privates for the purpose of having relieving themselves. The lead designer Mustapha Peepee claimed the new range had a ‘fly’ on the front.

The Department for Media has reportedly paid George Lucas 1 million pounds to Islamify Star Wars. At a sneak preview George Lucas unveiled Hijabba the Hut.

The Islamic Department of Health claimed that there was no such thing as Swine Flu but it was OK to get Avian Flu.

Perez Hilton was banned from travelling to the UK by the Immigration Authorities. The opposition party Infidel Nationalist UK party supported the decision.

UK shepherds came out in their 10000s today to protest at the decision to ban sheep shagging. The Islamic Court ruled that having sex with a sheep was not Halal.

Police today arrested 40 protesters outside the Houses of Parliament for inciting racial hatred. Notice boards saying, ‘Behead those who offend democracy’ were confiscated.

Now the sport in this evening’s game Liverpoolabaad beat Manchestehran Unitedstan by 3 goals. Alex Ferguson blamed his defenders for growing their beards too long and tripping over them too much.

FCUK Martyrdom have come under fire for discriminating against fat people. FCUK Martyrdom said,’we only supply suicide bomber belts to size 0 only.’

And finally, Sheik Simon Cowell has launched a new version of Islamic Britain’s Got Talent – Taliban Idol. If the participants don’t put on a good show the audience can stone to death the act on stage. Analysts predict Susan Boyle, Kerry Katona, Michael Buble and Peter Andre wont it make it past the first round. News Flash the Islamic Immigration Authorities have allowed Perez Hilton into the country to present Taliban Idol!